Theme: Our attitudes and beliefs affect the information about sexuality that we teach our children.   A. What is sexuality? The feelings we have about ourselves as sexual beings and the way we express our sexual feelings.   B. Why do education about sexuality? An important child rearing goal is to help our children develop a healthy sexuality. As a parent, this means showing approval and acceptance of our children's developing sexual selves. It also means that as a parent, we will continue to expand our knowledge about sexuality, so that we can keep pace with our child's maturational needs for new information.   C. Attitudes and beliefs about sexuality affect us as parents. Family Values: The biggest influence on our sexual attitudes and beliefs probably comes from our families. The way our families taught us about sexuality, affects our own parenting on sexuality. Cultural Differences: Each person's culture influences her beliefs and attitudes about parenting and sexuality. Roles of Mothers and Fathers: A single parent may wish to find a reliable relative of the opposite sex to talk about sexuality with his or her child. It is important for mothers to talk with their sons to share their female viewpoints, as well as for fathers to talk with their daughters to share their male viewpoints. Life Experiences: A parent's childhood experience of sexual abuse, domestic violence or other family violence influences her parenting and her views on sexuality.   D. How do we as parents give our children information about sexuality? Parents model attitudes and beliefs. Modeling happens when children discover our own attitudes and beliefs by observing us interact with others. Modeling occurs unintentionally, and is more influential than words. Young children learn basic attitudes and beliefs about their sexuality primarily from their parents during the first five years of life. Some attitudes that children may learn are: what it means to be a girl or boy; how we feel about our sexual selves; the meaning of genital slang terms; behaviors associated with females and males; stereotypes around homosexuality; and the ways we choose to express our sexual feelings. During the workshop we did a Sex Role Activity and you were asked to write down five things which you felt were the best and worst about being your gender (male or female). You were then asked to consider who had the most influence on your answers. The majority of workshop participants usually identify their parents and family as being the most influential. An interesting follow-up suggestion to the previous activity is to ask your children the best and worst thing about being a boy or girl. Their reply may tell you what they have already learned about what it means to be a girl or a boy. Parents teach the information thoughtfully and purposefully. Making the choice to provide sexual information to our children is the beginning of sexual abuse prevention. There is NO evidence that teaching children about sexuality encourages them to be sexual. In fact, there is evidence that early teaching about sexuality could help prevent sexual abuse.   E. How do we thoughtfully and purposefully teach information about sexuality? There are 5 steps: 1. The first necessary step is to look at our own sexual values and decide which values we wish to pass on to our children. Parents are the first and best teachers to their children. 2. The next step is to consider how and if we model the sexual values that we want to pass on to our children. If we do not model the values about sexuality that we wish to teach, our children will receive conflicting messages. Preschoolers learn the most from our behavior. 3. The next step is to become an "askable parent." This means learning to be as comfortable as possible with the use of correct sexual words, while providing information about sexuality. 4. Next, find out how much your children already know. One can easily do this by reflecting the child's questions back to them and seeing how they answer, or by asking what they think. 5. Finally, consider your children's age and stage of development. Children take in only what they are developmentally ready to understand. Be prepared to provide simple answers to their questions. Avoid long, complicated explanations. Your children will let you know how much they need to know.   Most important: Be honest with yourself about your feelings! The more honest and comfortable we are as parents, the more we will be "shock- proof" and ready for our children's questions and curiosity. Parents can learn to be more comfortable through preparation. Preparation includes reading sexual education materials, practicing correct terms for genitals, and talking with other parents about feelings and attitudes toward sexual education.